What is wrong with school!

Since this year, the second year, now when it becomes serious, I have felt a decline in my spirit towards school related stuff. The decline hit an all time low when I came back from project week, and I was so negative about all the school work we had. I would say I was considering dropping out of school, but the thought came to mind once or twice. There is theatre presentation and performance, EE, World Lit and last but not least philosophy IA and blogs. On top of all that triveni, socializing and keeping in contact with friends at home is equally important. You have to think of a million things at once. When you are done with one thing the next thing is there. There is something all the time. My problem is not that it is interdisciplinary, just that you can't take you mind off school work, there is no relaxing, even when you are watching a movie, you keep thinking about the work you should be doing. It is probably also the reason that Project Week was so liberating, and the reason why it was so much harder to return into this routine. You don't have time to sit down and focus on one thing. Now I am working on my EE, I took a break to write a philo blog and rehearse my lines. Of course of this could be avoided had I been better at planning my time and more foreseeing. I want to be able to do stuff when I captures me, when I am excited by it, not sitting here a day before just writing because I have to. But I guess that just how the world functions. That is also why I am taking a gap year, I want to do stuff that excites me, I want to be incalculable, I want to be able to do what I want when I want. I want to see what it is like to be driven by nothing else than your emotions, not to be disturbed by deadlines and carrier dreams. I used to go to school because I liked it, now I go to school because I need to get a high school diploma. Not that school is not interesting, it is just too much. I want to be able to go to philosophy have a discussion or a lecture and then have time to let the thought sink in and create my own. Instead of having to run to theatre class and work on something completely different which I would also like to give it the time that it deserves. I think we could learn so much more, be so much more constructive if we worked in periods of weeks or even a day at the time so you have time to really get into things and spend time thinking about it.